What if I were to tell you there was once a holiday with the magic of Christmas, the fullness of Thanksgiving, the GOD BLESS AMERICA of the 4th of July, and the spiritedness of St. Patrick’s Day?

This holiday is real, my friends. This holiday is as real as the computer or smart phone you’re reading this on. This holiday is Deep Fried Super Bowl.

The premise of Deep Fried Super Bowl is simple:

  1. You bring all the deep fryers you own to a friend’s house on Super Bowl Sunday
  2. Your friends bring all the deep fryers they own to that friend’s house

2a. If your friends don’t own a deep fryer, ask yourself if they are actually your friends

  1. Gather all the foodstuffs you enjoy. That’s right, ALL the food stuffs
  2. Batter the foodstuffs
  3. Deep fry the foodstuffs
  4. Eat

If the only foodstuffs you deep fry are foods traditionally associated with deep frying – chicken, hush puppies, french fries, etc., you’re not doing it right. Here are some dishes we deep fried previously that are some of my personal favorites:

  • Macaroni and cheese
  • Birthday cake
  • Pizza
  • Rice Krispies Treats
  • Bacon

My friends and I celebrated Deep Fried Super Bowl for at least eight years. The host always had to be brave, as the scent of grease would linger in their home for weeks, and the breaker would trip at least three times. We’d spend the entire afternoon and evening frying, eating, frying again, maybe watching a bit of the game, and eating again. We didn’t discriminate as to what could be deep fried, but we did learn to modify our frying techniques over the years. Some foods had to be frozen before deep frying (hello candy bars). Some foods’ flavors permeate the grease (hello pizza). Nothing ever turned out to be bad, though. Even the worst foods can be improved by batter and grease.

When we all moved to different cities throughout Arkansas, we had a few spinoff Deep Fried Super Bowls throughout the state for the first few years.

We all grow old, however. I checked in with my fellow Deep Fried Super Bowlers to see how they were celebrating Super Bowl Sunday this year. One was making a casserole. Another was making paleo food. I was going to be air frying some chicken. One of the long-time hosts doesn’t even own a deep fryer anymore.

Though we may not be celebrating this joyous occasion anymore, the magic of Deep Fried Super Bowl will always live on in our hearts. Hearts that are probably slightly clogged now from all the years of deep frying.