It’s that thing when a man asks an “honest” question or says he is “genuinely curious” about something you say, but it isn’t his intent to understand your reasoning. He demands you explain your perspective (even though you usually have already) so he can have an opportunity to explain to you how you are incorrect.

see also: Mansplaining

DeMANding is the latest evolution in mansplaining, and it’s worse than classing mansplaining. It’s a demand that YOU do work for him so you can set him up to zing you. It’s a way for the man to deny that he’s mansplaining. “I was just asking a question. It’s not my fault that you don’t like the answer.”  And it’s an attempt to force you into humiliation.

Fellas, I am not here to do your research projects for you. And I’m not here for you dancing around words so you can deny that you are being a condescending prick. You know what you’re doing. Just own it.

Ladies, you don’t owe these deMANders a damn thing. They are there to suck your time and your self worth.

Are you being deMANding? Is someone being deMANding to you? Here are some phrases you can look for:

  • “Honest question for you:”
  • “Show me where it says that. I’ll wait.”
  • “Curious as to why you think that.”
  • “I wasn’t mansplaining. I was asking for an explanation that you couldn’t provide.”
  • *explains mansplaining to you*
  • “I was just asking a question.”

Ladies, do you have any key phrases to add to the list? Comment below!